Yes, it's time to tackle the "je suis bien" problem, one of the most common mistakes. In fact, you've probably been told that it's one of the most common mistakes in French, that you can't say that, but in reality it's a little more complicated. It depends on the situation! Surprising, isn't it? So let's go back to its inconvenient origins, and you'll be surprised, believe me!
If you answer "je suis bien" to the questions "comment allez-vous ?" "comment ça va ?" or "ça va ?", people will cringe. It's not an appropriate answer in this context, but rather "je vais bien et toi ?"
Always remember to check up on the other person, it's the least you can do to be polite!
But do you know why we say "je vais bien"? Any ideas?
It comes from the Middle Ages. Originally, the full expression was "comment allez-vous à la selle ?" And we're not talking about a horse's saddle, we're talking about fecal matter, poo, which isn't very glamorous. It's a question we wouldn't ask nowadays, of course, but back then, medicine wasn't as advanced as it is today. Inspecting someone's stool was one of the only ways of knowing whether or not they were in good health.
The stools of great men, such as kings, were inspected daily by the royal physician, who examined the contents of pierced chairs. Fortunately, things have moved on!
Linguists don't quite agree on the origin of the expression. Was it a word play? An urban legend? Take your pick. After all, in English, we also say "how do you do?" and "do what?" "who knows?"
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