I'm not going to beat around the bush: don't say "je veux une carafe d'eau" in a restaurant, or you'll have a bad time. It's part of French etiquette. But what's this French etiquette everyone's talking about? Stay tuned until the end to discover these faux-pas, these mistakes, that you don't want to make on your next trip to France!!
A brief history of French manners
I think we were all taught the same thing when we were little: our parents used to tell us to "be polite", and they were right, because politeness acts as a facilitator for life in society.
As the 19th-century writer Alphonse Karr said, "without politeness, we'd only get together to fight".
Today, societies are increasingly conflictual. Wouldn't that be a lack of politeness? I'll leave you to think about it.
Let's take a quick look at the origins of politeness, savoir-vivre and etiquette. One of the oldest signs of politeness, the handshake, was probably invented to dissuade us from seeing a stranger as a potential enemy. At the time, this gesture was used to show each other that we had no hidden weapon in our hands. Today, we do it mechanically, but perhaps this action unconsciously fosters trust in the other?
At the end of the Middle Ages, the need for a common code was felt. Until then, each region had its own way of doing things.The first collections of politeness appeared. Pushed to extremes under Louis XIV, these rules acted above all as a filter, allowing access or not to the upper bourgeoisie - the apogee of etiquette
This is still the case today.Why do tourists make such an effort to dress up when they come to Paris? So there is indeed an etiquette transmitted through culture, books, paintings, films... just look at Emily in Paris, which takes this code to the extreme!
Avoid doing this in France
Now that you know a little more about the origins of French savoir-vivre, I'd like to list a few faux-pas to avoid on your next trip to France:
There are 4 magic words in French, and they can have a real impact on your experience in France. I use them all the time.They are bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci and au revoir.
In the same way, when you're in a restaurant, use the conditional of politeness "je pourrais avoir une carafe d'eau", and not, "je veux". This mode exists for several reasons, and one of them is politeness.
Don't put water or ice cubes in your wine, especially if it's red. It's a serious offence. We're not going to kill you, but almost.
As for public space, keep to the side when you take the escalator.There are often people in a hurry who will pass on the left. You don't want to block their path. Otherwise, Parisians will hate tourists even more.
Also, you don't have to wear a beret or a sailor suit, but if it makes you happy, do it. It's your trip after all, so live it as you please.
Want to know more about French language, take French lessons with me!
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